Fast Learner
by Vialana
Summary: Renji/Ichigo :: Everyone wanted to know just what happened with Ichigo last night.


**Disclaimer: I do not own _Bleach_ or any of the series' characters featured in this fan fiction.**

_I'm really starting to grow attached to (read: obsessed with) this pairing. Ichigo and Renji are probably my favourite characters from Bleach and the pairing certainly is delicious._

_Anyway, this is slightly cracked. Inspired by a line from one of my other Renji/Ichigo fictions, "Playing with Fire", I thought it would be a fun premise to work with. There's obviously yaoi and a little swearing. Also, this was supposed to be a drabble. I'm terrible at drabbles, hence the extra word length._

_Enjoy._

**Fast Learner**

Ichigo sat down with a slight wince and an almost-smile radiating of smug contentment on his face. Ishida and Chad took one look at him and came to the same conclusions.

"Well, someone had a good night last night," Ishida sung with a smirk.

Chad, as usual, didn't say anything, but his silence said more than words ever could. His friends recognised the non-expression as a knowing smile.

Inoue blinked at the three boys in confusion before asking curiously, "Did something happen, Kurosaki-kun?"

Ichigo flushed a little at the naive comment but tried to shrug nonchalantly. "It wasn't really that important," he brushed it off.

"Really?" Ishida had to cover the lower part of his face before his smirk got out of control and turned into full blown hysterical laughter.

"Yeah, really," Ichigo growled. "Now shut up about it."

The three didn't say anything more, but they were definitely thinking about what could have possibly happened last night with Ichigo all through the school day. Contemplating Ichigo's life was certainly more interesting than thinking about school.

They didn't get a real hint about what actually occured the night before until school let out.

Renji, as usual, was waiting for them to finish. He was standing by the gates staring down at his scuffed shoes lost in thought as they approached. He looked up and his eyes zeroed in on Ichigo. He scowled and stormed over taking everyone by surprise.

"It's been bugging me all day, you know," he growled in Ichigo's face. "I just don't get it, it makes no sense."

"Well, that must be new for you: not understanding something," Ichigo quipped, not intimidated at all by the large muscular redhead. "Oh wait, ignorance is your natural state of mind."

"Shut up, I'm serious." And he really did look serious, frowning and glaring darkly. "You lied to me."

"I did not!" Ichigo looked afronted. "About what?"

"Those lines about being a fast learner. Complete bullshit. There is no way in hell you were a virgin before last night."

A few people choked on incredulous laughs and Ishida could barely be heard muttering, "I knew it," under his breath. Ichigo's mouth was wide open ready to reply, but his words seemed to be caught by a serious case of mortification. His face was flushed to the roots of his hair and he refused to look at anyone.

"Renji, shut up, you don't know what you're talking about." Ichigo finally found his voice.

"You. Me. Last night. Don't tell me memory loss is another one of your defects."

"I didn't lie to you," Ichigo hissed, eyes darting nervously to his friends, all in various stages of shock and amusement.

"Prove it."

"And how would you like me to go about doing that? Look, I'm fifteen, I've never had a girlfriend -- or a boyfriend -- I've never been properly kissed before and I've never really had any inclination towards dating or even sex. Yes, I'm a teenage boy, so it's not like I've never thought about it, but I'm rather antisocial -- in case you haven't noticed -- and I've been able to get along fine before now without acting on my urges. You'll just have to take my word on it."

Renji was staring at him thoughtfully. "That's the truth then, you weren't lying?"

"Yes, it's the truth. I didn't lie to you."

Ichigo was getting rather exasperated with Renji, but the other man's next move stunned him into complete immobility.

Renji pulled Ichigo to his chest and held him there in a death grip.

"I am keeping you forever and no one else will _ever_ be able to touch you." He glared at Ichigo's friends still watching the scene. "No. One. Else." He enunciated pointedly.

Chad's eyebrows were lifted high, though it was hard to tell under his mass of hair. Ishida had taken a few steps back and was holding his hands up, not arguing. Inoue just nodded, still dazed by the whole situation.

"Good. Now, Ichigo and I have other things to take care of."

Ichigo didn't seem to agree, struggling to pull himself away from the other man. His face was smothered by Renji's shirt, so it was possible he was just trying to breathe, but from the angry sounds muffled by the material he was just as likely to start ranting as he was gasping for breath.

"We'll be leaving now."

Renji loosened his hold enough for Ichigo to break away, but not enough to escape Renji's grip and Ichigo was dragged along behind the other man, glaring and complaining as they walked.

"What the hell was that for? I couldn't breathe."

"I wouldn't let you die, I like you too much and the sex is amazing."

"You're such a jerk."

"I know, but you like me anyway."

"... Idiot."


End file.
